Jan. 14th, 2010

danika_ni_sidhe: (Default)
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I look for people who are honest about and to themselves and others, discreet, intelligent, sensitive and with a dry sense of humor. Unfortunately, as I have a Messiah Complex, I usually end up around the unrepentant liars, the melodramatic, the whiners, the chronically inactive, and the users.

I am an incurably naive pragmatic optimist. I love to believe people when they tell me things but I hold out just a little bit for the possibility that they're lying to and/or using me. I hope and I hope that I'm wrong but over the years I have learned this: if I can't picture it happening, it's not going to happen. Now I am stuck in the unenviable place of trying to weed those out of my life who do me no good but I keep them around because of the naive hope that they WILL (or have) change(d) and they'll be the people I picture them being. I need to stop worrying about hurting their feelings or any attendant drama and worry about ME.

The one time I stuck to my rules, I found my husband. If ever the Universe tried to teach me an object lesson, it was with him. I have many dear and stable friends who are everything I would ever want in a human being but I find myself spending way too much time worrying about the ones who aren't.


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June 2010

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