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regarding yesterday...
Aug. 26th, 2005 10:39 amShe stopped by my place yesterday and we talked.
It went better than expected.
Now, for minutiae that made me laugh hysterically. Beth posted these but no one on my friends list knows her...
Klingon Fairy Tales.
BY Mike Richardson-Bryan
- - - -
"Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears"
"Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and the Seventh Dwarf She Let Get Away as a Warning to Others"
"There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe With a Big Spike on It"
"The Three Little Pigs Build an Improvised Explosive Device and Deal With That Damned Wolf Once and for All"
"Jack and the Giant Settle Their Differences With Flaming Knives"
"Old Mother Hubbard, Lacking the Means to Support Herself With Honor, Sets Her Disruptor on Self-Destruct and Waits for the Inevitable"
"Mary Had a Little Lamb. It Was Delicious"
"Little Red Riding Hood Strays Into the Neutral Zone and Is Never Heard From Again, Although There Are Rumors ... Awful, Awful Rumors"
"Hansel and Gretel Offend Vlad the Impaler"
"The Hare Foolishly Lowers His Guard and Is Devastated by the Tortoise, Whose Prowess in Battle Attracts Many Desirable Mates"
Ten Precepts
From The Art of War
That Never Made It
Past Sun Tzu's
Editor.
BY JOHN KEARNEY
- - - -
1. When you sally forth to meet the enemy, show your contempt for him by
the haughtiness of your prance.
2. Confuse your enemy with mixed metaphors. Be like the wind beneath his
keel.
3. All warfare is based on deception. When the enemy draws near to you,
cry out, "Look out behind you." When he turns to look behind him,
attack.
4. Always keep the blades of your weapons sharp. It is the way of the
ginsu.
5. Always keep the hair of your men shorn close to the scalp. Nobody
likes hippies.
6. All warfare is based on deception. When the enemy draws near to you,
cry out, "You spilled soup all down the front of your tunic." When he
looks down at the front of his tunic, attack.
7. Never lend money to your men just before a battle.
8. Demoralize your enemy by whispering and giggling and then suddenly
going silent as he draws near. When he asks what you were talking about,
say, "Oh, nothing."
9. Never allow your men to paint flowers or colorful swirls on the sides
of their chariots. Nobody likes hippies.
10. Confound your enemy with precepts that sound profound but actually
make little or no sense. Be to him as the stallion is to the necktie.
It went better than expected.
Now, for minutiae that made me laugh hysterically. Beth posted these but no one on my friends list knows her...
Klingon Fairy Tales.
BY Mike Richardson-Bryan
- - - -
"Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears"
"Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and the Seventh Dwarf She Let Get Away as a Warning to Others"
"There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe With a Big Spike on It"
"The Three Little Pigs Build an Improvised Explosive Device and Deal With That Damned Wolf Once and for All"
"Jack and the Giant Settle Their Differences With Flaming Knives"
"Old Mother Hubbard, Lacking the Means to Support Herself With Honor, Sets Her Disruptor on Self-Destruct and Waits for the Inevitable"
"Mary Had a Little Lamb. It Was Delicious"
"Little Red Riding Hood Strays Into the Neutral Zone and Is Never Heard From Again, Although There Are Rumors ... Awful, Awful Rumors"
"Hansel and Gretel Offend Vlad the Impaler"
"The Hare Foolishly Lowers His Guard and Is Devastated by the Tortoise, Whose Prowess in Battle Attracts Many Desirable Mates"
Ten Precepts
From The Art of War
That Never Made It
Past Sun Tzu's
Editor.
BY JOHN KEARNEY
- - - -
1. When you sally forth to meet the enemy, show your contempt for him by
the haughtiness of your prance.
2. Confuse your enemy with mixed metaphors. Be like the wind beneath his
keel.
3. All warfare is based on deception. When the enemy draws near to you,
cry out, "Look out behind you." When he turns to look behind him,
attack.
4. Always keep the blades of your weapons sharp. It is the way of the
ginsu.
5. Always keep the hair of your men shorn close to the scalp. Nobody
likes hippies.
6. All warfare is based on deception. When the enemy draws near to you,
cry out, "You spilled soup all down the front of your tunic." When he
looks down at the front of his tunic, attack.
7. Never lend money to your men just before a battle.
8. Demoralize your enemy by whispering and giggling and then suddenly
going silent as he draws near. When he asks what you were talking about,
say, "Oh, nothing."
9. Never allow your men to paint flowers or colorful swirls on the sides
of their chariots. Nobody likes hippies.
10. Confound your enemy with precepts that sound profound but actually
make little or no sense. Be to him as the stallion is to the necktie.
