Public Service Announcement
Apr. 21st, 2010 11:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danika_ni_sidheI have many dear and wonderful, well-adjusted friends (or friends who can, at the very least, fake it). I also have dear and wonderful friends with issues. I can handle having friends with issues, as I also have issues, but what I can no longer abide is abject humility.
I get low self-esteem. I get humility. However, when you mix low self- esteem with someone trying to convince you of just how lowly they are, it just gets annoying. The whole Goddess persona started as a joke, folks, and any noble blood coursing through my veins (on both sides, thankyouverymuch) is so far back as to not really matter. As the saying goes, I only play a Queen on TV...
I know this is going to have the same effect as me screaming at a black hole, but I have to try: if your life sucks, it's because you don't think enough of yourself to make it better. The minute you see yourself as "worth it" is the minute everything starts to look up. Make a decision for yourself. Now, this doesn't mean belligerence. Being an ass just so you can feel like you've stood up for yourself just makes people avoid you more. Be assertive, not aggressive- there is a fine line but there is a boundary.
Just about every guy I dated had this problem and when I found Bruce, I almost didn't know what to do with it. I found a man (!) who could tell me what he needed and what he wanted without whining. He knew the difference between the two. That's why he has the intelligent and hot chick. I couldn't steamroll over him! If I get annoyed, he doesn't immediately crumble under my withering glare and beg for forgiveness (yes, that has happened and it was as embarrassing as it sounds...), he calmly asks what's wrong!
To quote Heinlein, "If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people." To have friends, you have to be the friend you want. To have a lover, you have to be the lover you want. If the people you target aren't who you want, find other people. It's that easy. Figure out want you want, figure out what you need (figure out the difference between the two!) and go to it.
I get low self-esteem. I get humility. However, when you mix low self- esteem with someone trying to convince you of just how lowly they are, it just gets annoying. The whole Goddess persona started as a joke, folks, and any noble blood coursing through my veins (on both sides, thankyouverymuch) is so far back as to not really matter. As the saying goes, I only play a Queen on TV...
I know this is going to have the same effect as me screaming at a black hole, but I have to try: if your life sucks, it's because you don't think enough of yourself to make it better. The minute you see yourself as "worth it" is the minute everything starts to look up. Make a decision for yourself. Now, this doesn't mean belligerence. Being an ass just so you can feel like you've stood up for yourself just makes people avoid you more. Be assertive, not aggressive- there is a fine line but there is a boundary.
Just about every guy I dated had this problem and when I found Bruce, I almost didn't know what to do with it. I found a man (!) who could tell me what he needed and what he wanted without whining. He knew the difference between the two. That's why he has the intelligent and hot chick. I couldn't steamroll over him! If I get annoyed, he doesn't immediately crumble under my withering glare and beg for forgiveness (yes, that has happened and it was as embarrassing as it sounds...), he calmly asks what's wrong!
To quote Heinlein, "If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people." To have friends, you have to be the friend you want. To have a lover, you have to be the lover you want. If the people you target aren't who you want, find other people. It's that easy. Figure out want you want, figure out what you need (figure out the difference between the two!) and go to it.
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no subject
Date: 2010-04-21 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-22 01:32 pm (UTC)